My father finally came to visit me in a dream. I was not expecting him so soon. In the event you do not know, my father, Joe, passed away at the age of 93 on February 10th, 2013. My mother, Esther, passed away on November 14th, 2009.
It is a strange feeling....it is just me now.
Yes, I have my sons, but I don't have any parents. And even though the last 5 years has been more about helping them, they were still there for me. When I really think about it, for most of my life I rebelled against them. I was always fighting with them. That idea is so funny now. Then, later in life, with the help of a therapist I came to understand them. I learned to forgive them and also to appreciate them. I learned that I didn't need to be afraid of my dad anymore and that all my mom really wanted was to be loved. I understood why some of my siblings harbor bad feelings for our parents and it still makes me sad for them because they will never have a chance to make amends with them. But that's another blog!
I discovered my mom yearned to be creative, but she had such low self esteem that she would always second guess herself. She finally found a way to be creative as well as finding purpose when she began to get involved at her church. She made beautiful drapes for the altar.At my dad's funeral, one of the priests made a remark about how she had left her impression there at the church and how when they put up her drapes they are reminded of her. One year she made childrens costumes for a little dance recital I was organizing. The childrens costumes represented different countries and she made them with no patterns. No one could believe the costumes were hand made. How sorry I am that I let the kids keep those costumes.
I was never good at sewing. I desired it, but I didn't have the patience. But that's ok, anytime I need to hem a pair of pants or darn something, I bring out her little sewing box.